BRINGING SEXY BACK TO THE CITY The four-play is dazzling at the NYC premiere of the hotly anticipated “Sex and the City” As one veteran New Line executive put it: “This is a pigfuck.” That graphic yet unusual term might aptly describe the scene outside Radio City Music Hall last Tuesday as hordes of pissed off, well-dressed people tried to pick up their tickets to Life imitates art: Chris Noth can’t be bothered to marry his baby mama get inside the premiere of “Sex and the City.” While a massive throng of fans on the sidewalk with no police crowd control screamed out for the stars of the film as they arrived, scuffles broke out between security guards and people whose tickets were supposedly at will call. Apparently the studio had issued several thousand passes, about as worthless as, gulp, used condoms, creating confusion and pandemonium. A brief downpour added to the discord. After going through the gauntlet, guests made a run for the SATC boxes of Jason Lewis with two of his untold legions of admirers: the years haven’t been kind popcorn and Vitamin Water being handed out at the concessions. Once inside the theater, director Michael Patrick King introduced all of the men of the City who were in the audience, from Big to Blatch, and then….the ladies took the stage Mario Cantone : they should have left the party planning to him , with Sarah Jessica Parker making a succinct intro to the film they had all been waiting for: "Let's turn it over to the film's rightful owners--New York City." Reams have already been written about the must-see movie, which picks up four years after the show ends, but we found it parts of it painful to watch, pieces of it glorious and the big funny scene with Charlotte’s pants not amusing at all. Comedy seemed limited to a riff about area code snobbery and a couple of one-liners here and there. No spoilers, but the rumor started by Cynthia Nixon that one of the characters dies…is not true. Kim Cattrall: 50 is the new fabulous! Jennifer Hudson’s blunt cut shows off her gorgeous skin The after-party at the Museum of Modern Art’s sculpture garden featured champagne, Cosmos (“Why did we stop drinking these? Because everyone else started.”), tray-passed shrimp, three kinds of ceviche at the buffet, all the stars and more you-can-take-the-girl-out-of-New-Jersey-but-you-can’t-take-Jersey-out-of-the-girls than you might expect. Eyes wide open: a joyful night for Cynthia Nixon Party-planners apparently had a tight budget, but were sorely lacking in creativity as well. Run of the mill premieres are much more themed to their film, as are big TV openings (think knights on horseback at “The Tudors” premiere.) Nothing about the event was branded as anything specifically SATC, unless you count the Malibu Dante (Gilles Marini): sex on the beach never looked so good hot pink floral centerpieces or the pink lighting in the upstairs VIP area. There should have been a Manolo wall, a catwalk, Magnolia cupcakes, bikini waxing booths, copies of Vogue tossed about…so many fun opportunities that were missed. Companies would have killed to be part of this bash, but offers of such participation were apparently refused. Apple, Mercedes…dozens of product placement real-life opportunities that would have made it much more than generic. Regardless, an historic, thrilling night, and ultimately in the end, pig-free.

SEARING IN THE CITY Polished walnut, black leather and heavy metal define the interior of Kobe Club, designed by Dodd Mitchell It’s tough to compete against New York’s age-old steakhouses, but Kobe Club definitely is making the cut if you want a unique supper club environment and the highest quality pieces of meat. (Just be sure to put the tab on someone’s roomy expense account.) Jeffrey Chodorow’s midtown boite specializes in flights of Kobe beef, with selections from the US, Japan and Australia. The house signature Samurai’s Flight ($225) is served for two with a combination of 4oz filets from all three countries and a 6oz American prime filet, but of course, individual steaks are available—all perfectly cooked to order. (Salmon, grilled chicken and pork chops are also on the menu, if you’re not in the mood for beef.) An extensive raw bar featuring oysters, lobster and crab or a starter of iced hamachi or sake-cured salmon opens things up nicely, and sides of unexpectedly delish white truffle creamed corn and roasted mushrooms are perfect accompaniments. If there’s any way you have room for dessert after a spectacular meal, you must try the baked Alaska or the truffle chocolate cake. Chodorow, of China Grill Management (other spots include China Grill in New York City, Miami, Las Vegas, Chicago and Mexico City; Asia de Cuba in New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco and London; Ono at Hotel Gansevoort; Social Hollywood in Los Angeles and Social Miami at the Sagamore) and partner Charlie Walk hired Dodd Mitchell Design from LA—this is his first NY restaurant—in collaboration with architectural firm New World Design Builders. The result: a stunningly sleek and sexy interior, dark, glamourous and seductive, which features more than 2,000 samurai swords hanging from the ceiling, and tying in with the theme of the finest Japanese beef featured on the menu by executive chef E. Chewy Cereceres. It’s a setting that’s contemporary, intimate and exciting all at the same time. As they say in the beef world, Grade A. Kobe Club, 68 W. 59th St., (between 5th & 6th) NY (212) 664-5623

SUPERLATIVES IN THE CITY OMFG: What is this stupid billboard still doing up in Times Square? New York Magazine has been throwing around some strange superlatives of late. “Gossip Girl: Best Show Ever. Period,” blared a recent cover. WTF? Did these people only start watching TV after the strike? Tuned only to the CW? OK, it's a hell of a lot better than Farmer Wants a Wife, but… The Sopranos, Seinfeld, 24, Mary Tyler Moore, anyone? Endless titles float through the mind like a montage of opening credits. The Office? MASH? Uh…Gossip Girl? It would be a compliment to say it’s like an episodic version of 1999’s “Cruel Intentions,” but not nearly as good. (and of course, that was based on the brilliant “Dangerous Liaisons.”) And then there was their peculiar pick for best hamburger in New York: a $13 smallish concoction of pork fat mixed with beef encased in a supermarket bun at Resto on 29th near Park, which had to be cooked well-done because of the pork. Just awful! Some staff wore shirts that said “Bringing fat back.” Bring me something medium rare, all beef. The little sliders at Casa del Mar are pretty amazing. Ooops, wrong coast.

CELEBRATING IN THE CITY Revelers smashed bottles on the street: no sweeping of all the broken glass underfoot What if you threw a party for the hottest ladies for the laddies and not many of them showed up? That’s what happened at the Maxim Hot 100 party recently on the New York St. backlot at Paramount. Not that it mattered….about 1,500 others partied the night away, including list members Stacy Keibler (star of those fun Axe body wash spots), Amanda Beard, the ubiquitous Audrina Patridge—will these Hills people all just go away?--Tila Tequila, Joanna Krupa, and Amanda Bynes. Men about town Kevin Connolly and Vince Vaughn hung out at the Hennessy lounge, as did Christina Milian, Kat Von D. and Nikki Sixx. And what LA event would be complete without Bai Ling running around in a whack outfit?

LAST DAYS OF AUGUST

It’s the calm before the storm when after Labor Day, in quick succession, boom boom boom: its Fashion Week in New York, the VMAs in Las Vegas and Emmy Week in LA.
One man is aiming to break new ground at Bryant Park, and he’s not in the schmatta business. Executive chef Andy Pastore wants to feed the fashion masses with his take on Asian-fusion cuisine.  What, you say? Food at Fashion Week? That would be a first. You could drink yourself silly, partake of any one of a number of controlled and uncontrolled substances but not run across a morsel for days and nights on end, save for a couple of chocolate-covered strawberries backstage at the shows.  (At least in LA, you can buy snackies at Smashbox to soak up some of the alcohol.) 
Maybe the California sunshine got to the native Brooklynite, who at press time, was searching for an NYC venue in which to temporarily hang his toque and serve up his delicacies like an heirloom tomato and mozzarella Napoleon, Thai bouillabaisse with Maine lobster tail or grilled Szechuan pepper-crusted filet mignon. Normally you can find him turning these dishes out from the kitchen at Ritual, on the site of the old White Lotus in Hollywood, with its sultry, candle-lit patio and adjacent nightclub. Pastore began his career in New York under some of the greatest names in the business, including Jean-Georges Vongerichten,  before moving West for stints at Wolfgang Puck’s fondly-remembered Granita, Michael’s, the Sunset Room, Sterling Steakhouse and Cabana Club. 
 Chef Andy Pastore wants to cook for the catwalk crowd who normally forego food for fashion at New York’s upcoming Fashion Week
Ritual, 1743 N. Cahuenga Blvd., Hollywood 323.463-0060 
 

FASHIONISTAS WHO ACTUALLY EAT FOOD, IN SMALL BITES
 

Teri Hatcher and daughter Emerson party at One Sunset with Mark Badgley + James Mischka

Countless St-Germain liqueur artisanale cocktails were downed and  truffle pizza, mini-crab cakes, tuna tartar and beef tenderloin were snatched up by a tres- fashionable crowd Monday night at One Sunset to honor Teri Hatcher as the new face of Badgley Mischka’s fall campaign.  DH castmates Felicity Huffman, James Denton, Andrea Bowen and Dana Delaney turned out to show their support along with Sama Eyewear’s Sheila Vance and jewelry designer Michelle Roy. One Sunset, 8730 W. Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood 310.657-0111

BARON DAVIS + LA STARS = MAGIC

Angie Stone rocks the crowd at the LA Stars “Rodeo Drive Experience” earlier this month, raising money for the charity overseen by NBA All-Stars Baron Davis and Paul Pierce to benefit at-risk youth in Southern California, and furthering work done by Magic Johnson and his eponymous foundation. Always a pleasure to see his smiling face.

MARTINI MADNESS ON RODEO
With the price of a few rounds of “designer” martinis requiring a C-note these days, it’s hard to imagine five for less than $20. But that’s exactly the deal at the Luxe Hotel’s Bar 360 Monday-Friday, 5:30-7:30 pm: $3.60 drink specials include a fresh watermelon martini, or, shades of Sex and the City, a cool Cosmopolitan, both giving deeper meaning to “happy hour.” Small plates like fried green tomatoes and fresh burrata, lobster rolls and lamb lollipops add a little more joy to an after-work respite.
Luxe Hotel Bar 360, 360 N. Rodeo Dr., Beverly Hills, 310.273-0300

FROM 818 TO 310: ARCONA ARRIVES IN SANTA MONICA
Long known to Vals as THE place for a results-driven facial, Arcona is now primping and priming Westside punims. Chanel Jenae and Kevin Anderson oversee the legacy of Arcona, who was ahead of her time as a pioneer of holistic skin care. The fab product line uses only all-natural ingredients with high concentrations of antioxidants, plant and extracts, sea vegetables, essential oils, vitamins and minerals and includes the popular Magic White Ice hydration serum and refreshing cranberry toner. Chanel or one of the salon’s estheticians will advise you on a five-product regimen best for your skin type. Trust them. 
The Arcona Studio, 425 Broadway, Santa Monica, 310.458-3800 

YOU WON’T BELIEVE YOUR EYES
It sounds illogical that slapping on a clear eyeliner at night can make lashes grow longer and thicker, but TAR has it on good authority that these potions actually work, with a little patience and a lot of persistence. The best: RevitaLash, which is making some long-lashed believers out of those who use it regularly for 3-4 weeks, when results kick in. Try it yourself, and save the time spent on often over-hyped lash extensions. And there’s a great backstory: ophthalmologist Michael Brinkenhoff originally developed the product for his wife Gayle, who was losing her eyelashes during chemotherapy for breast cancer. A portion of the proceeds of each tube sold ($150) goes to breast cancer research.
www.revitalash.com,  877.909-5274

RIP OF THE WEEK
Don’t fall into this trap: valet parking at the Grove will cost you $20 unless you spend $250 at the plasticine mall. Puh-leeze. One savvy moviegoer gamed the system by purchasing a $300 necklace at Nordstrom and then returned it the next day…at Westside Pavilion.

THERE IS SOME CONSIDERATION FOR GUESTS HERE
Patrons of the Writers Bar and Jaan restaurant at Raffles L’Ermitage in Beverly Hills get free valet parking and customers of the spa at the InterContinental in Century City also park gratis via valet, which TAR awards the best chill-while waiting-for-your-car spot at a hotel in LA, complete with couches, coffee tables, heat lamps and ashtrays. But don’t get too comfortable: they always seem to deliver the cars pronto. Jiminy!

© 2007 Atkin Communications.  Reproduction of material from the Atkin Report without permission is prohibited.  The Atkin Report™ is a trademark of Atkin Communications, Los Angeles, CA.