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60th EMMY AWARDS: REALITY BITES

Looking very un-Palinesque, triple-threatTina Fey cradles her statuettes

With the writers strike a closed chapter months ago, you wondered why a few WGA scribes couldn’t script a couple of words for the five-pack of Emmy reality hosts to open the 60th edition of the awards show. Heidi Klum being dropped, and bruised? Painful, in more ways than one. Where were Ellen, Jon, Chris or Jimmy (Fallon or Kimmel) when you needed their hosting abilities? Ry-guy solo, or Russell Brand, even? A concept that just did not work, reflected in the embarrassingly meager ratings for the ABC telecast.

The lame hosting quintup-set were in sharp contrast to the quality crop of candidates who took home the statuettes. Fresh off her boffo turn as Sarah Palin on last week’s SNL, (“I can see Russia from my house!”) the night belonged to Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin and the cast and crew of NBC’s 30 Rock, which rocked the prize for best comedy series and accounted for three of the peacock net’s 6 wins, second only to HBO’s take-home trophy count of 12—many of which went to the miniseries John Adams, starring Paul Giamatti and Laura Linney.

On the drama front, critical fave Mad Men got the nod for its first season, becoming the first basic cable series to win that prize. Class act Glenn Close added to her awards mantle and surprise winner Bryan Cranston snatched the top acting prize from a field of tough competition that included Hugh Laurie, Jon Hamm, Michael C. Hall, Gabriel Byrne and multiple Emmy winner James Spader. And hurray for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart supplementing its already bulging trophy case.

THE WINNERS’ CIRCLE

The always-winning Glenn Close, best dramatic actress

Bryan Cranston as Walter White: a loser becomes a winner

As dynamo lawyer Patty Hewes on Damages, Glenn Close plays one of the top litigators in the country. Several weeks before claiming her Emmy, Glenn opened up to us about the parameters of her ball-busting character: “What’s important to her is that she wins. Is that she’s number one. Number two is boring. You don’t want to be number two. You want to be the best. The best there is. And what you do in order to achieve that becomes your story, becomes your choice,” she says.

And what should a power wardrobe be? “You have to decide how much jewelry you wear and not wear, how high your heels should be, the length your skirt should be, should you wear slacks or not wear slacks, you know, it’s all part of it, because you don’t want to be too feminine, you don’t want to be too masculine.”

As for her personal/romantic life, Glenn had very set ideas as the character was being developed. ”When the guys first talked to me about this character, they said that she was still married to her first husband, and I said I think that’s patently impossible.

I said I can’t imagine a woman like this who’s basically sacrificed everything for her career, still being with a man, you know, the first guy she married. I mean I know even talking to people in that profession, there is a lot of divorce and just knowing how careers happen and how people grow away from each other, I just didn’t believe it. So, I think actually – the husband is played by Michael Nouri, is probably the best kind of partner that she can have. He’s already established, he isn’t dependent on her for money, he gives her a lot of space in the relationship, and yet there’s something she’s not – he’s not her intimate partner. I don’t know if she’s ever had an intimate partner.”

Stay tuned to Damages to find out the deep and dirty backstory.

He plays a down on his luck science teacher-turned-drug dealer on AMC’s Breaking Bad (the network’s “other” drama--aside from Mad Men--that has a small and obviously influential audience), but Bryan Cranston sure looks cool with his new shaved head thing going on. Now, he’s got an Emmy for his troubles—and some insight into his very un-Malcolm-like character.

“If you cut him open, he’s like an apple. I often feel he’s gone to seed, a man for 25 years living a silent depressed life, filled with regret on missed opportunities--which starts to wear on you and break you down. So I wanted his physicality to be soft and a little pudgy and invisible to the world and himself. I drew that little moustache that made me feel impotent,” he says.

“The glasses were a cover, a mask, he’s invisible to society. The clothes palette is beige, sand, cream, pale yellow-- everything that blends into the walls. He could have painted himself as Navajo white. He felt unimportant, but all of a sudden the cancer created conditions that spawned new life, very ironic because of his imminent death.”

Hey, they can’t kill him off too soon—the show’s just beginning to gain traction!

PARTY HEARTY

The stunning “Art + Architecture: The Flavors of South America” design (by Billy Butchkavitz) at HBO’s PDC after-Emmy bash

Here’s what we learned: the LA Convention Center was too cavernous to set the right tone for the Governors Ball immediately after the first-time ceremony at the Nokia Theatre. But nearly 4,000 guests supped on a multi-course dinner from Patina, with plenty of liquid refreshment provided in specially-designed bottles of Beaulieu Vineyards Georges de Latour Private Reserve Cabernet, along with bubbly from Piper Heidsick, Grey Goose vodka and Voss Artesian water. Dove Chocolates laid out an unlimited supply of dark, milk and white—more than enough to sate anyone’s sweet tooth.

The PDC parking lot was again transformed into a stunning extravaganza for HBO’s mobbed yet elegant after party, where Jeremy Piven celebrated his third Emmy win for playing Entourage’s Ari Gold—and at the end of a very long night, joined LA mayor Antonio Villaraigosa and Bret McKenzie from Flight of the Conchords for an impromptu drum set on the elevated stage from which Qool DJ Marv had been spinning an electic 80s and Latin soundtrack for the evening.

A diva-ish and dangerously skinny Teri Hatcher took to the dance floor, her good will for the evening having dissipated far earlier in endless red carpet discussions about her yellow gown matching or contrasting with Mariska Hargitay’s.

Jamie Foxx, Alec Baldwin, Tom Hanks, Adrian Grenier, Jane Krakowski and Jerry Ferrera soaked up the sumptuous topaz blue and tourmaline green South American atmosphere, fueled by Moet Chandon, Belvedere vodka and Terrazas Del Andes wines, with Brazilian cuisine from the never disappointing Wolfgang Puck (except for that horrendous hepatitis party at the PDC last year and his recent decision to hang huge portraits of Heidi and Spencer at Cut—one witness swears she saw tears staining the photographic visages of Bob Dylan, Johnny Depp and Jack Nicholson displayed nearby.)

And then there was the kid-in-a-candy store Godiva Chocolatier bar, with a huge assortment of truffles and chocolate-y treats, and the handy Laura Mercier make-up touchup station to pat down the shine from all the excitement of knocking a few back with just about the entire cast of 30 Rock. OK, Judah Friedlander, you can take off your geeky “Best Dressed” baseball cap now. I’m voting for Mayor V in that category. And Tina Fey as VP.

THE SUITE CIRCUIT: FROM JEWELS TO JUNK (no, not that kind)

A master masseuse from Equiox Fitness works his magic at the Patrick Melville Salon/Sunset Marquis event

It seemed like almost every hotel from Beverly Hills to Hollywood—along with a couple of private estates, was hosting an Emmy suite in the few days leading up to the show. And the award for the best one goes to the Emmy Beauty Villa at the Sunset Marquis, hosted by Patrick Melville Salon New York and The Spa at Equinox. Patrick, the stylist responsible for Eva Longoria’s new short bob, had his hands full cutting and styling a bevy of beauties that stopped by, while colleague Rick Wellman worked color and highlighting magic. With catering by Chaya, guests also got acupuncture facial rejuvenation by Juhi Singh on a sun-dappled patio, browsed gowns from Aidan Mattox and Adrianna Papel and received products by Sebastian, FHI Heat, Napoleon Perdis, Arcona, Belegenza and Biolustre, an intensive hair treatment.

At the HBO Luxury Lounge, more than 60 Emmy nominees from all across the TV dial came in to check out hot new watches from Invicta, sexy shades from

Eat your heart out: the Dove display @ HBO

Beryll, Hanky Panky thongs (perfect under revealing gowns), jewels by Sophia Fiori, Piaget and Penny Preville, clothing from Avedon on Robertson, Garnier Fructis’s portable rollerball puffy eye treatment (what a revolutionary product!), makeup by Global Goddess creator Shalini Vadhera and memberships from SportsClub LA to work off all the Dove Chocolate being handed out.

The Platinum Guild took over a penthouse at the Luxe to showcase a stunning array of jewels, including a $700,000 bib necklace being shown off by host Michael O’Connor, who jets in for every major awards show to make the stars sparkle. Guests also got La Prairie mini-facials, massages and hand treatments. Debbie Durkin’s Main Event Red Carpet Lounge and Green Suite at a private Hancock Park estate featured Skinn beauty

A gorgeous day for gifting at The Main Event Green Suite in Hancock Park

products, Beautylash, Tassi hair accessories and Lamborghini desk accessories, portrait photography by Michael Bezjian, tunes from PR man and DJ Henry Eshelman –and a late night charity poker tournament

Over at the Mondrian GBK event, Sunset Tan was doing airbrushes without any of the drama of its reality show, just pure bronzing, Hollywood style. Also showcased: stunning jeweled tops from Booseh, 3Lab skincare, Hollywood Skin Factory bath goodies, Superstar nail lacquer, the new Cadillac fragrance for men (how many MPG does it get?) plus Baeth Davis and Melora.

Christian Audigier by Ed Hardy clothing and bags, bling-y Ed Hardy sunglasses from Revolution Eyewear, Chi Organics (amazing hair irons and smoothing products), A1 spa and Chic Little Devil (a downtown LA style warehouse) took over the Marilyn Monroe suite at the Roosevelt for an intimate product showcase.

If you get your kicks from wheat grass juice and flax seed tortilla chips—and who doesn’t these days?—the place to be was the Sofitel for the Alive! Expo Green Pavilion which also featured natural cosmetics from Aubrey Organics, and moving away from natural but less than plastic, Bust-Ease foam supplements to enhance the cleavage that also—for some strange reason—have nipples built in.

COCKTAILS @ CRUSTACEAN

Just when you thought Beverly Hills didn’t have enough name recognition, along comes a new cocktail to cement the city’s image in your addled mind, which is what’ll happen if you have too many Beverly’s. Unveiled at Crustacean, the new signature drink is a concoction created by mixologist Mark Rocha. After all, New York has the Manhattan.

Crustacean Restaurant, 9646 Little Santa Monica Blvd., Beverly Hills, 310.205.8990

FORTY BUCKS, FORTY RESTAURANTS

Thousands worked up an appetite standing in line at the 7th annual Taste of Santa Monica

Maybe it was the unseasonable cool and cloudy weather that descended on the coastline, but the Taste of Santa Monica drew its largest crowds ever at the pier on Sept. 14. Participating eateries included The Lobster, Chez Jay, The Yard, Buddha’s Belly, Hooters--yes Hooters, that bastion of gourmet cuisine--Whist, I Cugini, Ocean Avenue Seafood, Tengu, Stefano’s New York Pizza, Cezanne at Le Merigot and the perennial crowd favorite with the longest lines, Acadie Crepes. Best taste: grilled jumbo shrimp garnished with tomato/black olive relish and a dainty arugula and crème fraiche-filled mini-wrap from Cezanne.

SCENE AND OVERHEARD

“I don’t need business cards. I’m in the movie business and everybody knows me.”—an unknown, way too self-important person at a cocktail party in Beverly Hills, responding to someone who asked him for a card.

VMAs: IT’S BRITNEY’S NIGHT, BITCHES!

A sparkly Britney Spears, in Versace, with one of the three VMA “Moonmen” she took home—her first-ever MTV Video Music Awards

Say what you will about Britney Spears, but it was her night to shine at the 25th annual MTV Video Music Awards held on Hollywood’s Paramount lot. Just a year after her much-thrashed opening performance at the show, Spears also opened this year's bash-- in a skit with Superbad’s Jonah Hill trying his geeky fanboy best to give the pop princess a kiss while trying to distract her with relaxation tapes.

"I'm in shock right now," said Spears after bagging three of the biggest prizes: Best Female, Best Pop Video and Video of the Year - all for her "Piece of Me" video. The show featured a somewhat controversial hosting gig by UK bad boy actor/comedian Russell Brand--he of the crazy hair--and performances by Rihanna, Katy Perry (covering Madonna's "Like a Virgin" in a throwback to the first VMAs 25 years ago), Christina Aguilera, the Jonas Brothers and Kanye West--notable since he'd said last year that he would never again appear on the VMAs because he hadn't won any awards. This year, his video for “Good Life” won for Best Special Effects.

The event planner should win an award for the stunning design of the after party in a made-over parking lot, complete with faux stages and multicolored klieg lights and topiaries spelling out VMA. Guests dined on mini shrimp cocktails and roast beef sandwiches with baby potatoes, and all they could drink at the multiple bars.

KRAZY KRESS

Downstairs at the Kress: Asian fusion. Upstairs: VIP rooftop.

The official opening was just in August, and already The Kress has taken its place among the pantheon of top-tier Hollywood hotspots. The historic Art Deco building, on a seedy stretch of Hollywood Boulevard, was built in 1934 as an S.H. Kress department store and about 15 years later became the world headquarters of Frederick's of Hollywood—and was until a few years ago, when Michael Viscuso began renovating the structure. No crotchless underwear is in evidence, but what you will find on the ground floor is a 298-seat dining room/supper club, dominated by a grand chandelier and serving an excellent selection of Asian-inspired cuisine. But the main attraction is up top—a spacious rooftop bar with comfortable couches and cabanas, and a 360-degree star-kissed view of the City of Angels from your lofty perch five stories up. Service is friendly and efficient. One floor down, there is another bar and a performance space with leather-lined walls giving off an intoxicating aroma. Venue has already been the site of numerous private parties, including a fab opening bash that started with a buffet and open sushi bar on the lower levels, and then moved up to the roof for more cocktails and dessert.

The Kress, 6608 Hollywood Blvd., Los Angeles (323) 785-5000

HOLD THE PHONE FOR STP

All hands up for Scott Weiland and Stone Temple Pilots at T-Mobile

T-Mobile sure knows how to throw an amazing party, definitely the best of the summer. To celebrate the launch of the Tony Hawk Sidekick LX, the telco took over an old building in Hollywood (formerly the headquarters of KCBS and KNX before they moved to nicer digs) and splashed the walls with everything skateboard: graffiti, photographs, and well-curated displays of the history of skateboarding, including historic boards from the 1950s on and street art from the “Life is Beautiful” exhibit by Los Angeles graffiti provocateur Mr. Brainwash. And where once Ann Martin and

The half-pipe where Tony Hawk got his skate on

Harold Greene read the news, Scott Weiland and Stone Temple Pilots performed a blistering, hour-long set that turned up the heat to sweatbox factor. Among the crowd: Matthew Perry, Rachel Hunter, Bill Maher, Verne Troyer—who even went up on stage to share the mike for a moment—Emile Hirsch and some of “The Hills” people. (they’re soooooooooo….everywhere)

Outside, you guessed it: a half-pipe for skaters including Tony Alva, Steve Olson, Christian Hosoi, and Alex Olson, who showed off their moves to music spun by DJs Chad Muska and Scott Oster. Also on the asphalt, a taste of heaven for fast-food lovers with trucks from In ‘N Out Burger, Hot Dog on a Stick and Taco Nazo catering to every hunger…

THE WONDER-OUS SUNSET MARQUIS

Stevie Wonder gives his blessing to the revamped property

It was premiere night recently for the sometime-overlooked Sunset Marquis Hotel, which just opened 40 new villa suites on its beautiful palm tree and tropical-flowered grounds and threw a big party to celebrate. On a stage set up at the foot of the pool, Stevie Wonder charmed the crowd with a soupcon of his effervescent blend of pop and soul. In keeping with the musical theme and the spirit of all the artists who have frequented the hotel, guests also got a look at “Gibson Through the Lens," a collection of more than 70 rare and vintage images of iconic rock stars like Keith Richards, David Bowie, Eric Clapton, and Prince with their Gibson axes. One of the things that makes this property so special is it’s a little secluded by virtue of being hard to get to….you can’t get there from Sunset Blvd., you must approach from Holloway and turn north on Alta Loma.

Sunset Marquis and Villas, 1200 Alta Loma Rd., WeHo, (310) 657-1333

POP THE PIPER

Champagne on the rocks: Piper Heidsick’s Piscine

This always seemed like a tacky idea (although TAR has been known to do it on hot and humid nights): tossing ice cubes into champagne to make it achingly cold. Now, one of bubbly’s premier houses has made it kosher by actually branding champagne on the rocks as “Piscine.” That’s the French word for pool, and the concept is to evoke hanging out at a pool drinking very chilled champagne. Perhaps Michael Phelps could dive right in with his eight golden reasons to celebrate.

REALITY BITES THE EMMYS

In addition to the five nominees for best reality host (Heidi Klum, Ryan Seacrest, et al) set up for team hosting of the 60th annual Emmy Awards on Sept. 21, get ready for the trophy girl gown designed by that esteemed costume designer, Lauren Conrad, a “one of a kind, couture gown” according to the press release, and not part of the Lauren Conrad collection. Guess you won’t be able to find it at Kitson after the show.

BAD NEWS ANTIDOTE: SUMMER OF FUN

A Beatles tribute band rocks the back lot of Paramount for the Concern Foundation’s Block Party honoring Avi Lerner

Capped by yesterday’s 5.4 magnitude quake, the LA basin from Malibu to Holmby Hills to Hollywood, Santa Monica and Beverly Hills rocked during July. One Saturday night saw dueling music industry events involving iconic British legends on rival campuses: The Grammy Foundation’s gala honoring Beatles producer Sir George Martin at USC vs. VH1 Rock Honors the Who at UCLA’s Pauley Pavilion. The thrilling concert featured Pearl Jam, Foo Fighters, Incubus and Flaming Lips performing Who songs, before the legendary band, fronted by surviving original members Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend brought down the house. Feel it here: Click here.

The same night at Paramount, Concern Foundation’s 34th Block Party raised $1.5 mil for cancer research and brought out 3,500 revelers for a food, wine and drink lover’s paradise created on the back lot, all done up in 60s psychedelic colors with huge peace sign floral arrangements on the tables—all of which were snatched up as parting gifts. Tribute band Stars of Beatlemania made sweet Fab Four music. Sixty restaurants, 15 wineries and 12 bars kept the crowd sated and nothing was left to chance as Pechanga supplied the gaming.

TCA TAKES OVER 90210

The cast of SNL and bossman Lorne meets the press

After the writers strike forced cancellation of the winter Television Critics Assn. press tour, the nearly two-week extravaganza made its home at the Beverly Hilton after years in Pasadena, which dissuaded many…okay, many Westside locals from attending. This time, not so much. With panels all day and parties every night, the hotel hadn’t seen this much action since the 2007 Golden Globes, since this year’s awards were a strike victim as well.

Each cable and broadcast network trotted out their executives, some clip reels and the stars of their programming in half-hour or hour increments and took questions from a somewhat jaded and increasingly exhausted audience of reporters from cities across America, and a few international locations. The women of Desperate Housewives--all looking as though they took four hours to get ready for the gig-- gamely braved a series of questions about the next

Teri Hatcher: mobbed by ‘desperate’ TV reporters

season, which takes place five years after the last one ended and features a glammed-up Teri Hatcher (oooh, that’s a stretch) and a fattened up housewife with two bratty kids Eva Longoria (now, that’s a stretch). In person, three of the five gals sported sky-high Christian Louboutins, and after the panel concluded, fans, oops, TV critics mobbed Hatcher and Longoria, leaving the other three ladies (Nicollette Sheridan, Felicity Huffman & Dana Delany) to make as fast of an exit possible on their ultra high heels. Creator Marc Cherry has an end date in sight for Wisteria Lane to close up in a couple years—and enter the highly lucrative syndication market.

Andy Samberg: not in a box

At the Saturday Night Live panel-- dominated by creator Lorne Michaels and weekend update anchor Seth Meyers--the big news was that SNL will soon become TNL. Yes, with all the satire and humor to be mined as the historic 2008 presidential campaign goes into its final stretch, SNL will also do a live half an hour on Thursdays at 9:30 p.m. on NBC, beginning in mid-September. For those of us who just can't get enough of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and the Colbert Report, we’ll set our TiVos for their granddaddy.

PARTY HEARTY, SANS CLOTHING

Look closely: the “clothes” of these women are painted on

Even by Playboy Mansion standards, scads of naked women (aka the Blu-ray Girls) with artfully painted- on outfits were a sight to behold as they worked the crowd at the second annual kickoff party for the ESPY Awards, sponsored by Sony PlayStation3 and Blu-ray. Traditional bunnies in bright satin and Hef himself mingled with athletes (Jose Canseco, Greg Oden) actors (Michael Vartan), musicians (Ryan Cabrera) and Playmates (Kendra Wilkinson. Holly Madison). Always amazing with the in your face sexuality that people are so well-behaved, except for the gent who got a slap in the face for trying to pat a painted fanny. The giveaway green & white striped bikinis were a big hit with the ladies (the guys had to settle for beach towels), and as the night wore on, a couple of guests slipped them on and frolicked in the pool and grotto, providing another great photo opp for the evening.

THE BIG ONES

Cover model/porn star Chad Hunt showing off his assets

What a creative idea for a book-signing party: have it at two places across the street from each other, one appealing to men, the other to women. When the tome is The Big Penis Book, Taschen scored a big crowd of member fans of both sexes at WeHo’s Coco de Mer and Alpha, with the editor and some of the photographers showcased signing copies before it sold out.

YOU GLOW

Amazing to see literally 100.000 people on the Santa Monica pier and the cliffs of Palisades Park above it for a dusk-to-dawn, edgy art event called Glow. Complete disorganization and zero crowd control added to the outdoor rave, where nothing much really happened, but that was obviously part of the plan. It felt like there was, so there was…and let’s do it again next year. Hey Santa Monica: have 4th of July fireworks on the pier again! No one got killed, and there were a lot more drugs involved at this gig.

VERSACE LAMBO

Drivers of this hot rod will be sure to attract almost as many speeding tickets as gawkers

It’s not quite as high-performance as the Lamborghini Christian Bale’s Bruce Wayne flew through the streets of Gotham in, but it's still a mighty impressive piece of custom automotive machinery. And who better than two Italian nameplates, Versace and Lamborghini, to come up with this object of desire: the Lamborghini Murciélago LP 640 Roadster? Sure, it's one of those “if you have to ask the price you can’t afford it” deals, but because it will be custom-built to your specs, the price will vary. The ultimate howoff feature is a transparent engine hood that reveals the powerful V12 engine. Happy motoring!

POP GO THE POTATO CHIPS

Crunch to contentment: Pop Chips, at Jamba Juice in NY and Gelson’s, Pavilions, Vons, Ralphs, Whole Foods and Joan’s on 3rd in LA

Sometimes--usually late at night—there’s nothing better than downing a whole bag of potato chips. Or tortilla chips (TAR loves Garden of Eatin’s Red Hot Blues) or corn chips--or anything crunchy with some zing to it. But your waistline soon pays the price for that indulgence, unless you switch your (bad) habit over to pop chips, the "healthful" alternative. Tough to resist a popped potato snack with delish flavors like barbecue, sea salt and vinegar, Parmesan garlic and salt and pepper. A whole 5 oz. bag will cost you only 600 calories, and about $3.

BRINGING SEXY BACK TO THE CITY

The four-play is dazzling at the NYC premiere
of the hotly anticipated “Sex and the City”
As one veteran New Line executive put it: “This is a pigfuck.” That graphic yet unusual term might aptly describe the scene outside Radio City Music Hall last Tuesday as hordes of pissed off, well-dressed people tried to pick up their tickets to get inside the premiere of “Sex and the City.” While a massive throng of fans on the sidewalk with no police crowd control screamed out for the stars of the film as they arrived, scuffles broke out between security guards and people whose tickets were supposedly at will call. Apparently the studio had issued several thousand passes, about as worthless as, gulp, used condoms, creating confusion and pandemonium. A brief downpour added to the discord.

Life imitates art: Chris Noth can’t be bothered to marry his baby mama
After going through the gauntlet, guests made a run for the SATC boxes of popcorn and Vitamin Water being handed out at the concessions. Once inside the theater, director Michael Patrick King introduced all of the men of the City who were in the audience, from Big to Blatch, and then….the ladies took the stage, with Sarah Jessica Parker making a succinct intro to the film they had all been waiting for: "Let's turn it over to the film's rightful owners--New York City."

Jason Lewis with two of his untold legions of admirers:
the years haven’t been kind
Reams have already been written about the must-see movie, which picks up four years after the show ends, but we found it parts of it painful to watch, pieces of it glorious and the big funny scene with Charlotte’s pants not amusing at all. Comedy seemed limited to a riff about area code snobbery and a couple of one-liners here and there. No spoilers, but the rumor started by Cynthia Nixon that one of the characters dies…is not true.

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